Thursday, September 18, 2014

What now?

So much has happened since my last post. I've finally graduated after much toils and sweat. To me, graduating from my masters was my goal, and that's all I was striving for. But now that that has happened, I'm aimless. I was so tired and just couldn't think clearly, so I decided to take a break.

Just a break, from everything. It isn't normal to take a break after graduating as usually the norms would require you to secure a job right away. I'm lucky that I can afford to take a break. At first I was quite insecure as many questions why am I still unemployed, I get defensive and keep trying to find excuses. But now, I've learnt to just accept it. When people ask, I will just straightaway tell it as what it is, I'm taking a break. Yes, I'm unemployed. Yes, I'll be looking for a job only next year.

I mean, like come on. A few months' break is nothing compared to the years and years of working you're gonna do in the future.

Friday, August 8, 2014

Reboot.

Wuuuut. My last post was April last YEAR! lol.
I should be writing more! Ok. Let's try this again.

Monday, April 8, 2013

Stressed

Final year!

Gosh, seems to be blogging so much about boring stuff. All I can think about is my studies right now. Seems to be getting back into my old habits, which is not good!

Keep getting angry, keep getting pissed off. I seldom give thanks to the good things that's happening to me, and keep focusing on the bad things. Sigh.

Thankful that my bf is still around! Been treating him really bad, cause he keeps on annoying me! Don't know if its intentionally or not. But then come to think of it, the things we argue about doesn't really seem big. I'm slowly forgetting to appreciate all the good things he have done, the good person inside of him.

Mostly is because of the stress of school, am starting to get worried. Worried I won't graduate.. Thesis year is so hard! Argh!!

Good luck to me.

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

to sum up 2012

2012 was a 50/50 year for me. First half of it was terrible, but the second half was much better than I expected!

For the first half of the year, I was the same as all the previous years that I can remember. Easily angered/irritated/annoyed, very 计较 (calculative), very competitive, and always bitter and jealous when things don't go my way. From what I can remember, all I did was just whine and complain. Maybe not all of the time, but definitely more bad times than good. *I'm still shocked that my bf is still able to put up with me, thank God he's such a patient person!*

Academic wise, didn't know what the hell I was doing. As I mentioned in my previous post, we had to designed a mix-used highrise. This is really a project too huge for me to handle, but somehow I manage to scrap by with a B! So, not bad lah. Presentation was terrible cause the panel criticized my work non-stop and I didn't have the confident to defend my work =( Until my own lecturer had to come up and defend my work for me. Sigh. Even until then I still keep blaming other people for my poor performance. *Denial mode*

For the second half of the year, everything changed. While on my 7 hours flight back from Korea, I was able to finish a book called 'The Secret', and my whole perspective on life changed. Seriously, just like that! *Snap fingers* It's like I've awoken from a very deep slumber. Don't know how to describe it, like in the past I've just been living in autopilot mode, but just with a little change of perception, my whole outlook on life changed together with it!

The most important lesson I've learned from it is to appreciate. That's the most important thing, after you appreciate, then the following teachings will be effective. If you don't appreciate, nothing will ever be enough. Just get the book! Definitely won't be a waste of your time.

Anyway, I've applied these teachings to my whole 2nd semester. I was skeptical at first, but now I am a firm believer in the Secret. (actually, don't mind the fancy name, the Secret is actually talking about the Law of Attraction). During my whole 5 years of study, not once was I ever truly proud of my work, I was always the mediocre student. But after applying the Secret, I can honestly say now for the first time ever, that I AM PROUD OF MY WORK! And it was also the first time that any lecturer had admired my work, AND also the first time the panel is interested in hiring me! I was so excited to explain my work but weirdly enough, this was the first external crit that we didn't have to explain our works to. And one thing that I was truly grateful is that I am not intimidated by other people's work anymore. I won't feel the pressure if they are progressing much better than me, all I needed to focus was doing the best for myself. I know it sounds cliche, but I finally understand all the self-help quotes I used to hear during high school. I finally understand what it feels like to be motivated, and to achieve something

Even though I still ended up with a B, mostly because the group work pulled the marks down, but I have to remind myself not to be greedy. This was by far the best semester for me, might be normal for other people, but it is a huge personal achievement for me! So I am not complaining =P

Well, that's about it for 2012. Can't believe I only blogged like 5 time in the past year. But then, who's reading?? lol. I will be my own reader ^_^

And also, welcome 2013! I know it will be a good year!

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Another test post

Testing on mum's iPad, she has been totally under utilizing it, mostly uses it to play mahjong -.-

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

back home!

It's that time of year again, am back to my own hometown, back to all these familiarity. Suddenly feel so grateful to be back in a house. Living as a student, you are so used to have everything in a room, your study, kitchen, bathroom and bedroom all in one. But in a house, you have so much space!

Trying to accomplish too many things at once, making myself so disorientated. Even though it's the holiday, still have some homework to finish. Still figuring out what to write about my dissertation, have to fill in the logbook, and also help with some house renovations. T.T

I just want to lie on the sofa, watch tv and be lazy. :p